


Why Clyde Langer Will Never Throw Another Party Ever Again

by biichan



Category: Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-13
Updated: 2008-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-07 09:12:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biichan/pseuds/biichan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clyde knew something was up after Spin The Bottle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Clyde Langer Will Never Throw Another Party Ever Again

**Author's Note:**

> Written for choc_fic. Prompt: _'Show me more of this Earth thing called kissing' - game._

Clyde's mum went to Brighton to visit her sick uncle, so Clyde threw a party to celebrate.

"But why are you celebrating that your great-uncle's sick?" Luke had asked, forehead creasing in the familiar way. Luke normally went around with a faintly puzzled expression on his face. It came of being grown in a vat by aliens. "I thought you liked him."

Clyde sighed. "I'm not celebrating that he's sick—I'm celebrating that she's leaving me alone in the house for the week. It's one of those things you _do_ if you're cool, Luke."

"So I should throw a party next time Mum leaves on some secret mission?" Luke asked, his expression a bit more thoughtful.

"Probably," said Clyde. "But lock the attic doors—we don't want any kids from school getting zapped by Mr Smith. Not to mention he'd rat us out to Sarah Jane." A thought occurred to him. "You aren't going to tell Sarah Jane that my mum will be gone, are you?"

Luke frowned. "You want me to lie?"

"Not _lie_," said Clyde. "Just, you know, don't mention it."

"All right," said Luke. "I don't understand why, though."

"Trust me," said Clyde. "You will Saturday."

***

Clyde knew something was up after Spin The Bottle. He ought to have known it as soon as Maria had produced the bottle, but he flattered himself by thinking she was just eager to snog him. Or, well, someone. Possibly Luke, he supposed—Luke wasn't as handsome as Clyde himself was, but not everyone could live up to _those_ high standards. Clyde wasn't the kind of bloke who noticed what his mates looked like, but if he were that kind of bloke, he'd probably say that Luke was cute, sort of. In a dazed and confused kind of way.

When it was Luke's turn to spin the bottle, it landed on Clyde. That wasn't the part that raised Clyde's suspicions. Luke kissed him on the lips, but Maria must not have bothered to tell him that when the bottle landed on another bloke a simple kiss on the hand was _more_ than sufficient. Clyde could feel his coolness points dropping exponentially.

No, it was the second time Luke spun the bottle and it landed on Clyde again. And the third. And the fourth. And that was when Maria leaned over and whispered something in Luke's ear and next time Luke spun the bottle it landed on someone else. Which only made things even more suspicious.

Clyde waited until he'd (deliberately) drawn Maria's name for Seven Minutes In Heaven to ask her what in the bloody hell was going on.

"Nothing," she said. "Really."

"Right," said Clyde. "So it's just coincidence that Luke kept spinning the bottle so it pointed at me."

"Of course," said Maria. "You can't possibly think he deliberately calculated exactly how hard he'd have to spin the bottle so that it would land on you."

"Right," said Clyde. "To do that you'd need some sort of super genius made-by-aliens brain."

Maria didn't say anything. Clyde hoped no one was actually listening in on them.

"Please don't tell me he fancies me," said Clyde quietly. "Everyone thinks we're weird already—I don't need them thinking we're weird _and_ gay."

"Clyde," Maria started to say, but Clyde never had a chance to hear the rest of it because that was when the screaming started.

***

Clyde was banned from Sarah Jane's house for the next week after that. Maria informed him that he'd missed a visit from Sarah Jane's friend the Star Poet. Half the school wasn't talking to him either. Evidently they didn't appreciate all the frog people turning up at his party. But it wasn't _his_ fault that he'd accidentally picked up their sacred whatever-it-was on their class field trip!

It was awful. He was bored out of his skull. He couldn't even muck around on his skateboard in the park, because the frog people had destroyed it. And he missed hanging out with Luke while Sarah Jane and Maria did girl things together. He missed it a lot.

Hell, he missed Luke a lot. Even if they could still see each other at school.

"I hate your mum," Clyde told Luke after maths on Friday.

Luke wrinkled his nose. "Oh," he said. "You sure? Because we're got a delegation of Pakhar—they're hamster people—camped in the garden and Mum said she'd introduce you."

Clyde blinked. "She did?"

Luke nodded. "Oh, and she says that if she ever finds me at a party like that again, she's going to send me to school on Arcateen V."

Clyde rolled his eyes. "I'd like to see her try."

Luke frowned. "Oh."

Clyde sighed. "I didn't mean that literally."

"Oh!" said Luke. "Right!"

For someone with a super genius made-by-aliens brain, Luke could be incredibly dumb sometimes. "Look," said Clyde. "I'll meet you there, all right? I've got to grab something from home."

The frog people may have destroyed his skateboard, but they'd left the bottle perfectly intact.


End file.
